Nepali Melancholy

Look around
and they are there
the rightful mothers
the logical parameters
the failed to make soul leechers
those soothing so called companions...
everyone is there,
you are sorrounded by them.
you are supposed to be warm through them...
even though every once in a while,
you crack a little joke with them
eat with them, talk a lot with them...
even analyze things with them...
they don't work (actually they do, you don't)
for you...
for they are like,
those dry lemons In your kitchen,
even though you've got a lot of them,
once you cut them in half
you hardly get more than 3 drops from each and every one of them...
and then you get excited by an idea
and you run into the garden
in search of sour and juicy lemons
you smell them all one by one...
with high hopes you move onto the next one...
even they seem dry
and then you realize,
the goddamn garden is full of dry lemons
and then you decide...
to not give a rat about those things...
'A Lonely Warrior
is what I WILL to become'
and then it comes,
that almighty feeling,
that may be peculiarly Nepali :
Can, Shall I?
and then you are doomed...you know that
but you still insist on surviving
because you still have that strong feeling deep inside
when you're alone
because you can still laugh at global internet jokes
they help you for a while
but since they don't carry Nepali melancholy
they seem superficial...
Well...you know that
Nepali humour is even more superficial..
and then you seek for literature, songs
the same problem arises...
nothing works (actually everything does, you don't)
So, you decide to write a poem...
not because it helps
or because it is not superficial
but simply because:
you don't know how to do anything else